Ever since I started to crochet my friends have been joking around with me to make willy warmers. At first I refused, there was no way I was making one!
Again my friends kept pushing me to make one so I finally gave in..
My first attempt was too small for the average Joe..

What’s average you ask?
During my days as a manager in an adult store I read that the average male is 3-5″ non erect and 5-7″ erect and I decided that a handful of balls was average which is about as big as my fist. This is what I consider average!!
As soon as I posted my first attempt online I quickly began getting orders. First order up was a request for a red and white Joe.
I was able to come up with the perfect sizing I was looking for The Average Joe Willy Warmer.
My next order was for 3 Joe’s..
One Solid Joe (Not pictured), a Camo Joe
And a request for a pink Joe..
As I was working on the order of three my friends started joking about making hair Joe’s and I added a hairy tie to the pink Joe.
I made a Patriotic Joe..
Then there was the Pride Joe..
And then the Au Naturel Hairy Joe was created.
You can order your very own ‘The Average Joe Willy Warmer’ HERE. (All sales are final!!)
Or if you are a crocheter you can purchase the pattern on Ravelry.
And let us not forget..
The teeny tiny willy warmer because even the little ones get cold!! lol

The Average Joe Willy Warmer has been entered into The Bearded Iris and The Suniverse’s

I’m a Wiener!!!

Check out all the winners HERE!
The Average Joe Willy Warmer Characters Now Available. Click HERE!
Hmmm. An appropriate brit milah gift? Ellen
These are absolutely hysterical!!!
These are awesome! hahaha!
I am absolutely speechless!! BRAVO!!
DYING! I absolutely love that you have gotten so many orders for such unique varieties of your Willy Warmers! I can’t decide which one is my favorite . . . the Pride Joe or the Au Naturel Hairy Joe. Hysterical! Best part: “All sales final!” Hahahaha!
There were two weeks of my life where I didn’t stop laughing because I was making these things. THey are just so much fun! I forgot to mention that I’m on a mission to try to get LMFAO to wear on of these while singing sexy and I know it, but it’s not a speedo so maybe I need to crochet a speedo attached to one to get them to wear it. lol That would be the best!
I. Can’t. Even.
OMG – you are KILLING ME with these. I love the color combos, too.
SO awesome.
Thanks for entering!
Hahah who knew men needed willy warmers??
For a teeny weenie, it’s umm, pretty long. Atta boy!
LOVE the hairy ones best. lol
I think you need a blue balled warmer next. perhaps a snowflake on the top of the willy part? hehehehe
I wonder if I could convince hubby to model one for ya.
haha, finding a model is the hardest part. haha no pun intended, or maybe it was. haha I have made a blue ball one in the past adding a snow flake would be possible!
I would love to model for you.
Extra small, average or extra large? hahaha
rofl girl your funny.
I always knew you were funny but this is hysterical! I actually crocheted one for my hubby years ago on my own as well! We couldn’t stop laughing! Thanks for the laughs!
^_^
So, for an “Average Joe” who does not knit, is there anyone who makes and sells the “Average Joe”?
What are you looking for? I can hook them up for 10-15 + shipping for $5
I am looking for just the average joe size in a mid gray tone. Nothing fancy, just warm.
Ok, I can work one up, will let you know when its done. Probably by the end of the week or next week.
Thanks. Where are you located? I am in Oregon.
I’m in Canada
Cool, when you are ready to ship I may be in Calif. but I can give an address. How do you do your bill info, via your website?
Paypal or EMT
OK Paypal will work…K
Ok, sounds good, I’ll send it out at the end of the week.
I’d have to say this was the most awkward order I’ve ever made lol (I’ve only ever gotten orders from women!) Hope your joe made it to you Ken and hope you like the new improved Joe.
Debi…Email me for the shipping info…Ken
Sent a paypal invoice to your email, if it’s paid in full I can have it shipped out on Friday.
OK…Thanks. I did the PayPak payment
I got it. Will ship out reg post this afternoon. Usually takes about 2 weeks to get to the USA but could take up to 4.
thank you for a wonderful laugh, we were looking for a mankini for one of our happy hookers and found your patterns. much hilarity ensued. thank you for the laughs
This is great. 🤣